When you start to hate the person looking back at you in the mirror,
how do you deal with it?
I want to sleep but theres so much work. Zzz.
Its so hard to finish the race when you lose sight of what you're fighting for.
And its even harder to not care about how you look when you get reminded of how imperfect you are all the time.
You tell yourself you just gotta fight on, prove to people you're happy with yourself. But at the end of the day you ask yourself if everything you do is worth it.
If only I'm brave enough to not hesitate.
But what if nothing good will ever happen to me?
She's been running,
look how far it got her.
Truth caught up with her
well she's left to hide.
Sometimes you run, and run, and run, and run, hoping that you can be happy, but truth is that you'll never be able to get rid of all the problems you face at home. They've always been there, always. Its just that everyone conveniently hide them but someday, you wait and see, someday it'll all blow and I'll be left with a house, not a home. I get so jaded, thinking about all the things I've done wrong, all the things I hope I won't be.
Oh life sucks straws. What's new?
Most of the time you're just waiting for someone or something good in your life,
but what if you're actually never ever going to find it?
Do you choose to stop dreaming?
Most of the time you just feel that maybe this friendship isn't real and it surely isn't going to work out.
I just don't feel right.
Now you're at the end,
what should you do?
Stop.
Take a step back,
take a look.
It'll soon make sense,
that you're doing it wrong.
And we lay, we lay together just not
Too close, too close (How close is close enough?)
I wonder if there will ever be an end to this.
School was quite boring today cause it was such a long day. I was dozing off in all the lectures boo. After school went to Peninsula and Bras Basah to look at guitars. And I've decided that if I can find a nice white guitar I'll sell off my current one and get it. Kinda sad to let my baby go but ohwells. When I was on the way home there was this old man on the bus who peed in his pants. It smelt real bad ): And it really got me into thinking about how I will be when I grow old. As in it wasn't his intention to pee on the bus and make everyone shun him but I guess he just couldn't control his own bladder cause hes so old already and he couldn't help it. I'm just worried that I'll end up like that in the future. Everyone just glared at the pool of water at his feet and walked to the back of the bus. I don't know if he really knows what he has done but its really so pitiful to see someone pee in his pants and you know you can't do anything to help.
Random: I want to change my nano for an ipod video ):
Okay off to do work and then sleep early!
Let's just forget,
theres really nothing to it.
Now you just keep trying and trying to find where you belong.
Rock chalet was the weirdest one I have ever had in my life. Things got pretty weird especially between two people haha shan't disclose it here its really quite private. It was just really weird I can't even put it into words here. I feel as though I was living a dream, but now well reality crashes in and school starts tomorrow ):
Stayed over and Serene's house yesterday (so yes, I haven't slept at home for two nights in a row), we didn't do much cause I was damn sleepy and everything. Watched horror movies though yay fun. Slept for about one hour plus at chalet and slept for about 6 hours at Serene's house. Tonight I'm gonna sleep real early haha.
Going out with TA later at 2pm yay I can't wait!
This weekend was all fun and play for me, now I feel kind of guilty I didn't touch work at all. Starting from tomorrow I shall go back into working mode cause promos are only a few weeks away omg!
How can anyone miss someone they don't know?
.
.
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/edit
I'm so tired of feeling disappointed all the time.
Hold your head high heavy heart
Save your strength for the morning after.
So take a chance and make it big,
Cause it's the last you'll ever get.
If we don't take it, when will we make it?
Kevy and Yen came over to bake today : D Talked and talked bout some heart to heart stuff, and told them that I've been thinking of joining back soccer. Sighs I've really not made my mind up about it yet, I'll just wait and see.
Okay its 11.27 now, gotta go bathe and then pack my bag and then sleep so I won't die in class and lectures dozing off tomorrow.
Someday I gotta learn to stop hoping.
Locking my blog posts from now onwards, so only Friends are allowed to view my entries!
on If I could I'd want to get out of this place